Beagle music video containing clips from the films Cats & Dogs, Underdog, Inspector Gadget, and Inspector Gadget 2.

I’ve seen this new snack food in the convenience store on campus that’s got a very eye-catching display and fancy package, but it also lacks a visible price tag and touts premium features like, you know, vitamins and protein and energy and health, or some approximation thereof, so I’ve avoided it in favor of the $0.25 Hostess cakes and saturated fats. Today, however, there are happy young marketers stationed all around the Student Center finally handing out free packages of healthy energy treats to convince us all that their new product is worth whatever unspecified mystery price. The snack is called GOAT, and it turns out they’re the brainchild of former heavyweight champ Muhammad “His momma called him Cassius, I call him Cassius” Ali: that would be Greatest Of All Time brand, not “goat” the animal – that are reduced in fat and calories, aimed at combating youth obesity and encouraging healthy lifestyles. No snack will contain more than 150 calories and all will be fortified with vitamins and fiber. The products will carry sporty, fighter names like “Rumble,” “Shuffle” and “Jabs” and come in flavors that include barbecued chicken, Buffalo wings, sweet corn and cole slaw, as well a sweet, fruit-based flavors. Portion sizes will be small, but they have been designed this way to fit into the current trend of “grazing” throughout the day. The other nice thing about the small portions is that you don’t have to eat as much of it, because oh my God these really are meant to be fed to goat-the-animal goats. I’m eating the “thrill-a-dill-a” flavor right now out of a small but sturdy silver bag that’s much more reminiscent of astronaut food packaging than traditional chips. The “snack food” comes in various shapes and colors — golden crescents, green and yes, brown, balls — that correspond to different “flavors” about as much as the marshmallows in Lucky Charms do. Except you wouldn’t rather feed Lucky Charms to your dog, so perhaps “Kibbles ‘n’ Bits” is the better analogy. The dominant feature of these balls in your mouth is the CRUNCH, which distracts you from the fact that it tastes like crispy styrofoam peanuts ever-so-lightly dusted with those fancy popcorn toppings you find in theaters these days. “Dill” indeed. Perhaps I should bust open the “big bad bbq” package and give them a try…. Okay, the sight test is already disappointing. The balls have gone from green and brown to rusty and browner, and the spicy-looking crescents are joined by some kind of cluster that reminds me of seagull poop — you know, how all the bits of shell and fishbone stick together in it? What, you’ve never inspected seagull poop? The cluster appears to be crisped rice and some other plant life and…and oh my God is it the worst thing I’ve put in my mouth since that one time at band camp. Holy jeez, I wouldn’t inflict this upon my dog. Though come to think of it, we’ve seen what dogs will eat. Verdict: do not put this product in your mouth. It should probably be saved for some kind of service in Iraq. And not against our troops, mind you.

well it’s my moms dogs but it don’t matter…

The Creative Loafing Street Team endures a nighttime challenge that includes mysterious clues, creepy motorcyclists and dead camera batteries. See how they make out! Produced by Joran Oppelt. Edited by Clint Hanaway. 2009 Creative Loafing Media.

This is the second half of the video footage Ben and Isaac shot after the lunch break. (1 of 2) Video scavenger hunt items: Get a stranger to do one of the items on this list. (20) Sing a song in front of the corn palace. (5) Get a video of a team member inside a firetruck. (10) Get a video of a team member inside a car you do not own. (12) Find somebody not from South Dakota. (15) Get a stranger to say “I want a new job.” (9) Team member hugging a stranger. (17) A team member in a tree (worth 2x if you get al team members in the same tree at the same time.) (8) A short commercial for an actual product. (20) Both people hanging upside down on monkey bars. (10) Anybody (TM or not) doing a good, complete, cartwheel. (10) Get an autograph of a policeman. (19) Video of a couple saying how they met. (20) An optical illusion video. (15) Cat touching dog. (10) Trying on a stranger’s shoes. (25) Try on a different stranger’s sunglasses. (19) Anybody (TM or not) on a balcony. (13) Team member riding a skateboard. (14) Give a noogie to a stranger. (25) Team member in a grocery cart. (+1x for each additional team member in the same cart at the same time.) (9) Give a stranger something hand-made. (14) Get a video of somebody watching a video of somebody watching a video. (10) Smash something with a rock. (2) Try on a stranger’s hat. (10) Anybody (TM or not) playing an instrument. (Reasonably well.) (20) A completed 20 yard pass. (5) A completed 30 yard pass. (10) A completed 40 yard pass. (15) A stranger reading a poem written by a team member. (18) Somebody being authentically scared. (25) Show a magic trick to a stranger. (10) Team member going down a firepole. (20) Pet a stranger’s dog. (10) Ride a stranger’s bicycle. (20) Get a stranger to sing a song. (19) Say a complete tongue twister flawlessly. (5) Fold a strangers laundry. (23) Lend a stranger a pen. (21) Somebody sleeping. (15) Somebody on skates. (10) Get the name of a person wearing a shirt with a “shoe” on it. (18) Dance in front of a fast food restaurant for 20 seconds. (20) Video of 10 different jellies/jams. (10) Somebody playing the drums. (20) Somebody looking at celebrity magazine. (9) A stranger taking a picture of/in the corn palace. (13) Find somebody who got braces in the last 3 months. (18) Get two strangers to shake hands. (24) Run with scissors. (8) Throw a frisbee. (2) Get 10 people’s signatures. (Doesn’t include the policeman.) (20) Help a stranger move something. (14) Run 1 block in 30 seconds. (30) Get two semis to use their air horn for you. (17) Get something you can drink for free. (Water fountains do not count.) (10) A stranger with an ipod. (7) Somebody wearing flip flops and jeans. (7) Sell something to a stranger. (20) Find a stranger who uses speed stick deodorant. (13) Do 10 Pushups in front of Burger King. (14) Do 10 sit-ups in front of a red car. (14) Do 10 jumping-jacks in the middle of a cross-walk. (14)

Examine a dry dog food label and look at the ingredients. Learn about dog food labels and ingredients, as well as tips on making sure a dog is eating a healthy diet in thisfree pet care video. Expert: Mark Siebel Contact: www.doggiestepsdogtraining.com Bio: Mark Siebel has owned Doggie Steps Dog Training for four years and has worked with over 4000 dogs. He teaches about health and nutrition for a new dog, general obedience, and behavioral adaptation. Filmmaker: Dustin Daniels

A real dog is trying to hit a Fake dog. Something like a girl’s Fake booty. He thinks she is another real dog, but it’s not. This Dog will be great on Oprah, and make a great commercial. It’s not my dog. He loves that dog. Like a Smart Dog Oprah Winfrey Dog. Oprah Winfrey Dogs It’s the funny dog, and when I say funny dog I mean a very funny dog I don’t like dogs, but fake booty hole fake butt. Good Dog, Bad Dog, Good Boy, Bad Boy. Just Oprah Winfrey Dog I’ll put this on Oprah Winfrey TV Show …